Shit My Dad Says by Justin Halpern

Let me begin by saying that this book is hysterical.  But more on that in a moment.  I'd like to now talk about why I hate Justin Halpern.  Now don't get me wrong, he seems like a decent enough guy.  But seriously, the only better way you could blindly stumble into money like this is to win the lottery.  When I was the age he was when he moved home I was married, had a mortgage, and was paying off a mountain of student loans.  He lives with his folks, Tweets the obnoxious yet comical things his father says, then starts printing money.  Mother F*cker!  That, and he got to play college baseball?  Seriously, F-You!

OK, now that I got that off my chest, this book is shear genius.  His Dad comes off like an amazing prick, but he actually loves and cares about his family deeply.  He just has a somewhat, oh I don't know, direct way of showing it.  I was laughing out loud at his exploits by page 5.  This is a must have for every guy's library (even if it is just a magazine rack filled with Playboys next to the shitter).  Go out and buy it today.

Nats

The Pacific by Hugh Ambrose

Hugh had a tough act to follow. His dad, Stephen, was arguably the best, and probably the most profitable, military historian ever. He had to have made a giant grip of cash from Band of Brothers alone. So when Hugh picked up the pen from his fallen father (my condolences Hugh, your Dad was too young to die. My dad died about that same age, and with the life he led, was waaaaaay overdue) he had a pretty big hill to climb.

Look, I am not the NY Times kinda guy who is going to crush a guy's work like he was swatting a fly then sit down with a Fanta to watch some gay porn. This blog is supposed to be fun. That being said, let’s give old Hugh a pass on this one. Buy the book and donate it to your local library in the name of John Basilone. Watch the miniseries on HBO. If you are a cheap bastard like me, and don't have HBO, watch Band of Brothers on DVD for the hundredth time and go read Pegasus Bridge by his dad.

Nats

A Nasty Bit of Rough by David Feherty

OK, we've discussed that Feherty is nuts. But this is waaaay over the top. A Nasty Bit of Rough is an idiotic, unbelievably funny, masterpiece of dick jokes, UK neighborly intolerance, and rampant drunken stupidity. I loved every moronic page of it. This thing even has plot twists and a freakin’ cliff hanger ending for God's sake! All this from a former pill popping, Bushmills swilling, mediocre Irish tour pro (who, lest ye misunderstand, I would give my left nut to play a round of golf with. It’s OK, I've already had kids....).

I won't bother going into the plot for you. I don't want to spoil any of this literary jewel (and by jewel I mean book that not so subtly implies that a giant, ugly Scotsman has a less than totally platonic relationship with a three legged sheep. I shit you not...). Seriously, guys crap themselves not once but twice in this damn thing (the second leading to the funniest line in the long history of the written word). Just buy it and enjoy. And by the way, if you happen to read this Feherty, finish the freakin’ sequel already you lazy bastard!!

Nats