The Burning Land: A Novel (Saxon Tales) by Bernard Cornwell

The Burning Land is told in the first person by a bad ass Viking who was fighting for an English lord. While the author does use a healthy dose of letters that don't exist in our language along with names that you can't pronounce, he writes the piece in current English, which is a bonus, because if he wrote it in 9th century English we wouldn't be able to read any of it.

Our hero, Lord Uhtred, kicks ass and takes names throughout the ancient English countryside in a series of bloody, gore strewn battles. There is a little sex, a sadistic villainess, a sprinkling of profanity, and a bunch of pain in the butt monks and priests thrown in for good measure. All of this makes for a very entertaining look at the life of an early European warlord.

I found my thoughts turning to how filthy and foul smelling the combatants would have to have been back then during the battle sequences and what unkempt, furry messes the women must have been during the sex scenes. Yes, it did take away a little from my enjoyment of the work (which, of course, is no fault of the author's) but as long as I kept those thoughts at bay, this was a thoroughly satisfying read. I give it a long sword up the arse of a filthy, heathen Dane (our hero would approve). Enjoy....

Nats

Mike and Mike's Rules for Sports and Life by Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic, and Andrew Chaikivsky

For those of you who don't regularly listen to ESPN radio, Mike Greenberg and Mike Golic host a sports talk radio show from 6am EST to 10am EST Monday through Friday. Greenberg is a skinny little geek and Golic is a giant ex-NFL lineman slob. They are both entertaining and opinionated and have a very good show.

All that being said, I hardly ever listen to them. Why, you ask? If you notice in that first sentence, I list their times in EST. I live in PST. That would mean that their show is on from 3am to 7am where I live. The odds of my catching them, pretty much ever, are somewhere between Greeny beer-bonging a six pack of PBR and Golic giving an accurate presentation of the correct cheese to serve with various French varietals. I do like them, however, which is why I bought their book. After having read it, I should have saved my money for several of the aforementioned Pabst Blue Ribbon six packs. This book is not funny, not insightful, doesn't teach you anything, has no sex or violence, and is basically a waste of time. Other than that, I loved it.....

Unless you are a diehard Mike and Mike fan, go ahead and skip this one. Don't blame me for the cheap beer hangover should you go with Plan B.

Nats

Arguing with Idiots: How to Stop Small Minds and Big Government by Glenn Beck and Kevin Balfe

Before reading this book I had very little exposure to Mr. Beck's work. Reading the glowing comments that such left wing fanatics as Keith Olbermann and Whoopi Goldberg shared about the author (think somewhere between Rush Limbaugh and Uncle Joe Stalin), I figured he would be your typical right wing fanatic. As I started the book the people around me (I tend to eat alone a lot and read while I do it) had all kinds of warnings for me that followed suit. I must say, however, that I was pleasantly surprised. Mr. Beck is a strict constitutionalist who rails on both sides equally for wrongs against the work of our founding fathers. That being said, considering our founding fathers believed in as little interference from the federal level in our lives as possible, you can pretty much guess which side of the aisle he leans towards.

I'll warn you now, however, that the picture he paints of our current state of national affairs is pretty bleak. After a hundred pages or so you start to think living in Europe might not be so bad. Of course, then you realize that no matter how f'ed up we are here, Europe is exponentially worse. Don't get me wrong, it’s a great place to visit, I just wouldn't want them taxing me 800% so I cannot get the medical care I need before I die. Call me crazy. Any-hoo, this work is in a textbook format, which is a little nutty, and has a bunch of sidebars throughout, so it isn't the fastest read. That and the constitutional chapter at the end frequently required a little more next level thinking than I was willing take away from my ham, turkey, and cheddar on wheat. All in all, it was an entertaining, educational, humorous (laughing on our collective way to the gallows) look at our country.

If you love unions, Obama, and the idea that big government will cure all that ails you, don't even bother picking up this book. If you are anywhere to the right of that and are interested in learning about what's really going on around here, you'll find it a fascinating read.

Nats